Monday, September 27, 2010

Blog posts from 2007 Euro Tour

Taking a break from the present, here are some dispatches from the past......

February 4, 2007 - Sunday

France

We will be in France for the next 9 or 10 days if anyone need anything from there. Berets, small moustaches, mimes, and what not. Also, I will attempt to find the throat lozenges with the Lidocaine in them that actually work but are not allowed to be sold in America for reasons probably related to capitalism or terrorism. Or both. Maybe the terrorists will win when I buy them.

I drank too much and slept through almost the entire first half of the super bowl, but then I joined the crowd in the main room for movie screen American ball live from the German broadcast. The German commentary threw a different spin on it, and our Dutch friends were fun to watch sports with. All around a good time, and the beers were free? Someone brought a chocolate cake. There were chips, although the hot dogs were of real pig parts and not soy, thus not edible. I will miss the Vera when we leave tomorrow, she has treated us well. Thank you Groningen. Thank you Netherlands.

All of you be good to each other and massage yourselves for easy pleasures.

Animal Planet, I love you

I watched animal planet on Netherlands television today. They spoke english, but subtitled it for natives. SHows about apes and crocodiles and cheetas. It was all very lovely. I like them animals.

Last night, was ourband playing the whole show as a one band show and not so bad. There was a dance party later. I tried some new moves out and i think they were good. The music was terrible. Everyone smokes and smokes and smokes. They should be dying very soon with so much smoking.

It is push up day so I must leave to do the remaining 40 push ups of the regiment. This evening we will watch the US superbowl of footballs featuring the teams of Colts and the Bears vying for superiority in tackling, passing, and rushing. If all goes well, there will be a minimum of penalties. Maybe they will provide veggie dogs like they did last year.

Sometimes, I hate cigarettes so much that I fear it will overwhelm my hatred of R. Kelly.


February 3, 2007 - Saturday

Being man

Last night. Amsterdam. There was a cat in a hash bar that I was able to pet, and I git Tyler to takke pictures of us together. Today, there was an orange cat, but it was not interested in my hand being on it so much. The show was good and the chaos punx were having a good time. An man about the age of 50 gave me half a beer while we were playing and then he called across the front of the stage and kissed me on the cheek after we were done playing. The only thing I could do was kiss him on the other cheek, you know, because you don't get chances like this so often. Then he kissed me again later at the bar, and the girl that was with him kissed me too. It was all so European.

We had no kicker table last night.

The hash bar played reggae and techno and combinations of the two. As well as videos with flashing colors and strobe lights.

Today we went to the town center and the red light district and to get mushrooms for eating. The mushroom store was all full of drug stuff and drug humour and reminded me of flea markets and black light posters. The red light district had lots of windows with girls staring out of them. They didn't wear much clothing. I drank a beer.

Tonight we play Gronigen, also in the Netherlands. There are attractive posters for the show we are about to play. I have to go to the bathroom.


February 1, 2007 - Thursday

Maximum cigarettes

Hello little buddies. We are in the fine city of Geissen in Germany and all is well, especiall with the food. We have also been given beers by the name of Pogorausch. This beer comes from Belgium and is said to be brewed by punks. Not bad. They are an ambitious sort over here.

I hate cigarettes.

No cats yet, but 2 dogs today. One was outside a grocery and barked a frightening bark at Bret when he came near. Very hurtful. The other dog is here at the show. Much nicer and when I put mine hand upon he or she dog, mine hand did not hold a bad dog odor. Thank you dog owner. I bet D.O.G.O.B.G.Y.N smells like medical scrubs and rubber gloves. Sanitary deliveries only. Man, I need to find some cats soon. I feel so lost without them. Next time I go on vacation trips, I will bring a cat picture scrap book. And maybe a cat doing something awesome flip book to animate when times are slow and less interesting and I feel that I need a pick me up.

Maybe soon Heathrow Airport can find a way to reach into its own ass and pull out our box of saleable items. Until this happens, London is a black hole to avoid.

See you. Be nice to each other, and change your diapers.


January 30, 2007 - Tuesday

German Feelings
Current mood: sore
Category: Pets and Animals

I haven't seen any cats yet, but I know they're here not only because I have seen them here before, but also because I can sense them. Felines play hard to get sometimes. When I find them it will be such sweet emotional fulfillment.
Now enjoy this story, excerpted from a business correspondance:
The only problem weve had so far is that the flight from NY to London was late and didn't give us much time to make our connector to Hamburg. Then we fo√ľnd that you can only bring one carry on bag on flights from London, even though we were on the same airline that let us bring 2 from the states. I had to go through the passport check, and that guy sent me down stairs, those people sent me back upstairs, and I had to go to ticketing to check the bag. At this point, Troi and I had missed the plane and didn't know where anyone else was at. Turned out Bret missed it too, for the same reason, and they had held all ten of our checked bags from the flight. So now the three of us had to wait six hours for the next plane. When we finally got to Hamburg, the box of LPs and 7"s was missing. It also had all of the cd booklets, tray cards, and stickers in it. The customs/airline people also bent Greg's cymbal case, almost broke his kick pedal, and broke one of the cd spindles so our cds could spread out through the shirt bag and get scratched. Pricks. We should be getting a call about our missing items today sometime, because Timo yelled at them in German a lot. Other than that, things are fine.

We ate pizza, but instead of bringing Troi pizza with pepperoni, they brought pizza with peppers. Then we forgot to warn him that when you ask for water, they will bring you carbonated water, and he didn't like that either. Sorry.

Enjoy your lives, Americans.

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